COUPLES AND PARENTS
What do I do if I can't get along with my in-laws?
I have been married for two months. I am twenty years old. My husband and I love each other very much. Very well, but... there is something that mars our happiness. I don't get along with my husband's parents, especially with his mother. She is vulgar; she curses... They get drunk and don't practice their faith, whereas I was brought up in a very Catholic family, where no alcohol was tolerated.
It is quite a problem! I am afraid for our life as a couple. What should my attitude be toward my in-laws?
A young wife who worries about the future.
Do you know that many people have similar fears? I am telling you that to help you stay calm and face your problem with serenity. Panic never fixes a difficult situation.
Remember that you are not married to your husband's family. It is a fact you love your husband and you do not want your marriage to be endangered in any way. That is a good sign!
Your families differ. You are aware of that. Knowing that will help you accept your husband as he is, to love him as he is. Your love for him will comfort him and he will realize how much you are worth.
As a matter of fact, I remember once meeting another very good and patient woman, a staunch Christian. Her faith and love changed her husband, whose family did not practice their faith and had practically no Christian convictions. Together with her husband, she has built a Christian home in which she is the heart. It is similar to your case. Cheer up!
As for your husband's relatives, you might not be able to change them. Keep on being kind to them. Above all, do not let yourself be influenced by their cursing and drinking.
On occasion, calmly discuss the matter with your husband. He certainly loves his parents, especially his mother, his mother who perhaps forgets that he is married. Without criticizing his relatives, tell your husband how you feel about them. Together, by the grace of your mutual love, you might be able to find a solution that will not hurt anybody, but would protect your blossoming love.
In some cases, it is possible and advisable to move farther away from one's parents. It is up to both of you to think this solution through and make a decision.
I think your faith will be of great help in your marriage and your relationship with your in-laws. You will find peace and strength in prayer. Set aside moments of relaxation with Jesus and Mary.
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